Thai Virgin Part 1 Me Not The Girls

Falling in Love in Thailand: My Journey with Thai Girls

Get ready to buckle up for a wild ride by long time reader of Bangkok Nite’s Mike! Seven years ago, poor clueless Mike stumbles into a coffee shop in the good old US of A. Fate smirks and introduces him to Rose, an enigmatic Asian beauty. Love blooms, lunacy ensues, thanks to Pattaya, that mysterious place her ex warned him about.  Stay tuned for Mike’s hilarious misadventures in the land of smiles. Let the laughter and surprises unfold!

My story starts seven years ago. If I’m honest, I knew nothing about Thailand or its people, so the thought of living here had never entered my head.

I got very lucky

Unexpected Encounters: Finding Romance in a Coffee Shop

I met Rose in a coffee shop in my city purely by chance. At the time, I thought maybe fate had smiled upon me. She had long black hair, and all I knew was that she was Asian. Her first smile made quite an impression on me (who says romance is dead?). Over coffee, I discovered that she was going through a divorce with an Irish chap and had lived outside of Thailand for over 10 years.

We started dating, and a two-year relationship blossomed (well, the first year did). She was sweet, the sex was great, and I fell head over heels for her. However, just after the 12-month mark, she turned into a complete lunatic. Her ex-husband had warned me about this magical place he had met her, called Pattaya—a place I had never heard of. She taught me that she could perform oral sex better than anyone I had ever known, cooked me Thai food, and was generally sweet to me. But, as I mentioned earlier, once the lunatic in her came out, I ran for the hills (or Thailand, as it’s now known).

Fast forward three months, and I’m sitting at Suvarnabhumi Airport at 6:30 am, thinking, “WTF am I doing here?” I don’t speak the language, haven’t really done any research, and I have three weeks to fill. Oh well, you only die once, right? So, I wander off to find a taxi and make my way to the Lebua State Tower Hotel to see what mischief I can find. I leave my luggage as it’s way too early to check in and stroll the streets in search of some food. Believe me, as a first-time tourist in the hotel vicinity at 9 am, there isn’t a lot to eat. But then, I stumble upon a McDonald’s and feel quite pissed at myself that my first meal on Thai soil is an American one.

Before coming to Thailand, I had set up a Facebook account and was talking to a bunch of Thai ladies, mostly from that magical place Rose’s ex-husband had spoken about—Pattaya. They seemed excited that I might visit (yes, I know I am thick as fuck), but I kept my options open until I arrived to see what would happen. An hour after I checked in at The Lebau Hotel, ‘Apple’ from Udon Thani messaged me, saying she could fly down to Bangkok that same day if I paid for her flight. Now, Apple had sent me some pretty hot videos of her hot, wet, dripping nether region with some interesting objects inserted inside. So, who was I to refuse this kind offer? After all, she told me she hadn’t had sex for three months (haha), so she was gagging for it.

Five pm rolls around, and I’m back at Suvarnabhumi Airport, waiting for Apple. Fuck me, guys, she was hot! Within an hour of arriving at the hotel, we were going at it like rabbits. I thought I had fallen in love all over again. She was amazing, and not one word about money had come up. Apple had told me she was a good girl from Udon Thani and just wanted to meet me. Little did I know what was going to happen next.

Next week, in part 2, Apple and I venture to Phuket.