Thai Virgin Part 1 – Me, Not The Girls

My story starts 7 years ago, If I’m honest I knew nothing about Thailand or it’s people so to think I would be living here had never entered my head.

I met Rose in a coffee shop in my city, it was all by chance and at the time I thought maybe fate had smiled upon me, she had long black hair and all I knew was she was Asian and gave me wood from that first smile (who says romance is dead). I found out over coffee she was going through a divorce with an Irish chap and had lived outside of Thailand for over 10 years.

So we start dating, and a two rear relationship had blossomed (well the first year did) she was sweet, the sex was great and I fell head over heels until she turned into a complete lunatic just over the 12 month mark ( her ex-husband had warned me of this magical place he had met her called Pattaya, a place I had never heard of). She taught me that she could suck cock better than anyone I had ever known, cooked me Thai food and was generally sweet to me but as I said earlier once the lunatic in her came out I was off running for the hills (or Thailand as it’s now known).

Fast forward 3 months and I’m sat at Suvarnabhumi Airport at 6.30 am in the morning thinking “WTF am I doing here”? Don’t speak the language, haven’t really done any research and I have 3 weeks to fill, oh well you only die once eh? So off I wander to find a taxi and make my way to the Lebua State Tower Hotel to see what mischief I can find, I leave my luggage as it’s way too early to check in and walk the streets looking for some food, at 9 am in the hotel vicinity believe me as a first-time tourist there isn’t a lot to eat but I stumble upon a McDonald’s and feel quite pissed at myself that my first meal on Thai soil is an American meal.


The lead up to coming to Thailand I had set up a Facebook account and was talking to a load of Thai ladies, mostly from that magical place Rose’s ex-husband had spoke about ‘ Pattaya’ who seemed excited I would possibly come (yes, I know I am thick as fuck) but left the door open until I arrived to see what would happen, so an hour after I check in at The Lebau Hotel ‘ Apple’ from Udon Thani messages me to say she can fly down to Bangkok that same day if I pay for her flight, now Apple had sent me some pretty hot videos of her hot wet dripping nether region with some interesting objects inserted inside, so who was I to refuse this kindly offer (after all she told me she hadn’t had sex for 3 months haha) so she was gagging.

5 pm comes around, and I am sat back at Suvarnabhumi Airport and out walks Apple, fuck me guys she was hot and within an hour back at the hotel we were at it like rabbits, I thought I had fallen in love all over again she was amazing and not one word of money had come about…Apple had told she was a good girl from Udon Thani and just wanted to meet me, little did I know what was going to happen next.

Next week part 2 and Apple and I do Phuket.