Spanky’s Nana

Nana Plaza is going, going, gangbusters. Just when you thought it had lost its appeal (well, I did anyway), just when you’d counted them out as stick-a-fork-in-em-they’re-done (I definitely did), they surprise you with a comeback. Cue LL Cool J. What with a new roof, and newly-renovated beer garden in the middle, and regular bumping business, Nana is easily the most popular RLD in BKK at the moment. Butterflies has reopened both sides of their club and is teeming with girls. Bangkok Bunnies is just as jammed with ladies. Billboard has probably the best lineup in town barring The Pimp Club. Things in NP are looking up.

Over the weekend, I popped in to a joint I usually avoid—Spanky’s, on the 2nd floor next to Angel Witch. It’s a popular place, but I don’t know anyone who works there so I just skipped it on previous visits, but this time I decided to see what all the fuss was about. My first impression upon stepping inside was that it smelled good. Being a Patpong regular, where the bars haven’t been cleaned or painted for decades and there’s a constant odor of mold, it was nice to sit down and relax inside a bar that didn’t smell like an old wet newspaper. My second impression was that it was crowded. I got there a little after 9:00 and there was very little free space to sit. In fact, I realized after one beer that I’d forgot to hit the ATM, so I left and returned 5 minutes later to find no available seats. I had to try back 3 times before finding an open spot. That’s when things got interesting.

Between rotations, Spanky’s has shows. Nobody in Patpong does shows anymore. The first one I saw was an acrobatic pole dancer showing off her arm and leg muscles, climbing then spinning, then dropping from various poles into a splits pose over and over. Very impressive. Then a rotation of ladies in white lingerie came up. Spanky’s has all shapes and sizes of girls, though they do lean toward the bigger sizes—big breasts and big butts. Lots of fake boobs. Oh, I forgot to mention that all the girls go topless. Which is of course a plus. After the white rotation there was another show. Someone shoved a red velvet sofa onstage. Then 2 girls climbed onto it and proceeded to enjoy fellating opposite ends of a cucumber for 10 minutes. There was a surprising number of foreign couples there, evidently to watch these shows, and one farang lady who was sitting at the stage suddenly sprang up and began sucking the nipple of one of the cucumber girls while the other one gave a thumbs up. It was good fun.

Near the far end of the stage is a shower show which is all enclosed by glass, behind which you can get a view directly into the locker room. It feels kind of naughty being able to see the girls when they’re not on stage, just doing what they do, changing clothes and eating noodles, etc. One thing that was unique about the Spanky’s girls was how many of them had a specific “look.” The look I’m referring to could be called “film noir sexy.” For example, one had bleached blonde hair cut into a pixie punk style. Another had Uma Thurman’s hair from Pulp Fiction. These two ladies moved onstage and off with a kind of smooth sensuality that set them apart from your average gogo dancer. It seemed as though they’d been transported forward in time from a 1920s cabaret or the set of the latest season of Babylon Berlin. I will confess, I was captivated.

165 baht for beers and cocktails. I didn’t buy a lady drink so I don’t know the price. But whatever it is, it’s worth paying, if only to see the different shows they put on. I’m definitely going to add Spanky’s to my list of can’t-miss bars when I’m in Nana. It makes no sense to deny oneself the pleasure.

Stay tuned for more info on the latest red-light happenings, and follow me on Twitter for regular photo updates and scantily-clad bar girls @BangkokSeven


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