Flashback Photo Spread: Billboard

Happy Sunday, folks. Bangkok Seven here. It’s time for another Sunday Rap, and while the gogos and bars remain closed, we were treated to a small reprieve today. The government has deigned to give us back dine-in service, provided 1—only three customers are served at a time and they sit facing away from each other with bags over their heads, and 2—the eatery can break even by serving no booze and only three people at a time. Not great news, but at least it’s something.

So while we continue to wait for permission to enjoy life again, and while the RLDs (red-light districts) remain closed, one way to keep our sanity is to break open the photo albums of past gogo nights pre-Koof and gaze at some scantily-clad sirens from the past. This week, we’re reminiscing about Billboard—the best gogo in Bangkok. The following series of pics come courtesy of Jack Nites.

Located on the 3rd floor of Nana Plaza, Billboard is the gold standard for Thai gogo bars. On entering, there are two main clusters of girls. To the right is a giant bathtub with topless chickies rubbing bubbles on each other. To the left is a great round carousel that turns slowly in clockwise fashion with anywhere from 10 to 30 luscious ladies at a time. Like an adult-themed fairground is Billboard.

But that’s not why this gogo is the best. Quite simply, Billboard attracts the best-looking dancers in the country, a Catch-22 situation that in turn draws in the biggest-spending customers, and so the cycle perpetuates itself. Billboard is positively rammed with hotties, and thus is also rammed with dudes from open to close.  And the girls aren’t just hot. They’re also friendly, flirty, fun-loving, deferential, quick to smile, slow to annoyance, and did I mention hot?

My personal experience with Billboard girls was confined to the early part of the last decade. From 2012 to 2016, two of my harem girls hailed from there. The first one, Mai, was a petite lovely lass with a bob haircut, a wide white smile, and huge boobs. Speaking of her smile, I don’t recall ever seeing her without one spread across her sweet face. She loved to be naked, so much so that she was prone to undressing while knocking on my door, and couldn’t wait to take a running leap into my bed. She was a once-a-week girl for about a year, until suddenly out of nowhere, she stopped replying to messages. I wondered if I’d done something wrong, but didn’t think much of it. After a couple months, I swung back into Billboard, curious about why Mai stopped coming by. When a bikini-clad girl sidled up, I asked her about Mai and was shocked to hear she’d died in a motorbike accident. I was devastated. The girl asked if I could still see her onstage, convinced her ghost was haunting Billboard. And that was the last I spoke of her until now. To this day, I miss her radiance.

My second Billboard girl danced her way into my roster a few months later. Her name was Nui—a 20-year-old single mom with dark brown skin and—again—a big heart-warming smile. (I never realized how much I rely on a good smile when choosing harem girls.) The unique thing about Nui was, she refused to barfine. Instead, she insisted on being called on the phone and asked out on a regular date, except she didn’t like to go out. Her favorite pastime was coming over to watch movies and cook me dinner. She even brought beer. She was, in a word, awesome. As time passed, though, she eventually went her own way, moving back to Isaan or wherever, and we lost track of each other. Around that same time, I discovered Patpong and stopped looking for harem girls in Nana and Cowboy all together. But that didn’t stop me from hitting up Billboard whenever I was in the neighborhood. It’s a spectacle. In fact, it’s edifying enough just to sit in a corner booth with a view of the bathtub and the circling stage and just feast one’s eyes on all that sexy.

So while we sit in limbo—in this poontang-less purgatory—let’s gaze fondly on these girls’ photos from the past, confident that we’ll see them in the flesh again soon. And if you need another pics-fix of gogo dancers, I’ve got my own album up over at http://patpongnightlife.com/2021/05/16/naked-ninja-retrospective-part-1-nan-praew-wan-and-baifern/