All that Glitters….
A sparkling Songkran in Patpong – Part One
It is Songkran 2022 and my pal Jack Nites and I, the Don Quixote and Sancho Panza of Bangkok’s RLDs, the chivalrous lensman of the Pong to my base-witted punter, are heading to Patpong 2 for a Thai New Year special of “900 baht all you can drink” in the bar group comprising The Strip, XXX Lounge, Black Pagoda and Club Black. As a kicker, later in the evening XXX Lounge are having a Wet T Shirt Contest featuring girls from the four bars. What could go wrong?
Clad in our most garish Songkran attire, we begin in XXX, paying for the essential hand stamp and chatting with the manager: it’s early and the girls are still getting ready. With all the skill that an A-Level in Maths affords me, I figure out that since beer promotions seldom drop below 90B per bottle, we need to drink 11 to be in profit: Challenge Accepted!
After a couple, we wander over to The Strip. It’s beginning to fill up and, as is customary, the girls flock to Mr Nites urging him to take their pictures. He’s on a night out really but he sleeps with his camera and he’s a sweetie, so he selects a quiet corner and shoots away. We chat with familiar faces and drink bottles 3 to 5,whilst being “entertained” by the sledgehammer disco beat of that one generic gogo song that never seems to end. Time to move on – after all, we’ll see most of the girls later in the contest.
Destination No. 3 is Black Pagoda. It’s not a typical gogo bar –it’s on a bridge over the street, and it’s got a more relaxed cocktail bar vibe. Not so relaxed however to prevent one bumptious young lady who has recently given birth from insisting on demonstrating her party trick – definitely not one for the lactose-intolerant. Beers 6 and 7 roll by whilst seated with a couple of familiar faces and then it’s time to head back to XXX to claim our spot for the wet T-shirt contest.
The place is rammed – punters fill the seats and aisles, there are groups of girls from each bar sizing up the opposition, and you can’t move. As the first few girls take the stage, it becomes clear that something has been lost in translation: they are not wearing T-shirts, nor are they overly wet. They are however barely dressed and are gyrating provocatively, and the crowd forgive the inaccurate description. I’m assuming “barely moist bikini contest” didn’t play well in the focus group anyway. It soon dawns on the girls that “Skin Wins” and the bikini tops come off. The partisan groups of girls scream for their own, and the MC gallantly tries to keep things moving along. As I have by now consumed bottles 8 to maybe 14, I have no idea who won – shortish girl with long black hair and tattoos as best I recall, so any one of them basically.
Time for Mr Nites and I to head off to the final destination of the night, Club Black, where things take a decided turn for the idiotic ….
TO BE CONTINUED
A big shout out to our friends at Asian Hot Models for allowing us to use some of their photos